Where Does Wisdom Come From?

     "Some things don't matter much. Like the color of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person's heart--now, that matters. The whole problem with people is...they know what matters, but they don't choose it...The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.”
― The Secret Life of Bee's by Sue Monk Kidd

                               I absolutely love this book. I have just finished it for the millionth time. Really it is a book everyone should read. Every girl anyway. There are some really amazing life lessons in it, its like even the simplest things seem profound when coming from the mouth of August Boatright. As an avid reader, you sometimes come across a character who is so real and to whom you can look up too. I have come across a few of these that I love. August Boatright in The Secret Life of Bee's, Alice Henderson in Christy (Also a book everyone needs to read), Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, and lastly, this is probably the one you will find most silly before I explain, Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series. These four characters are my all time favorite characters in my all time favorite books. These books are all very different with very different messages, but there is a central and key theme that resonated with me in each and every one of these books. Love. Now, if you have read one or two, if not all, of these, then you may understand but I think that I need to explain myself somewhat. These characters all have something in common. They have a person or group of people who almost, if not outright, idolize them. They are great and wise and they are savvy to the secrets of the world. You could not imagine one of them doing something ridiculous and stupid. Their hearts are conceivably pure and they are just plain impressive to all us screw ups.
Bu that isn't why I like them.
The reason that I love these characters is not because they are perfect, on the contrary, I like them because they aren't. August Boatright lived in a messed up, broken situation. As the oldest of three sisters she was placed into the position of leader. She delt with a sister who is emotionally broken, a sister who is bitter, and is confronted with an even greater struggle when Lilly Owens comes to town (I wont say any more for those of you who haven't read it), as you can see, she is probably stressed. However, she takes it in stride. She responds calmly and speaks truth to those in need of it. Certainly a wise woman. As the quote says, no matter what emotional state it puts her in, August Boatright chooses what matters. From the outside she looks perfect, on the inside shes not. Nothing is.
And for Alice Henderson... She is a highly wise and thoughtful. She is a Quaker who hands wisdom and truth out like candy. Like it is a wonderful life changing secret. Which it is... To Christy Huddleston, she is perfect and knows about life. The perfect Christian. However, when Alice was younger, a teen, she was raped by a man who was supposedly wise and revered for his theological knowledge. She had his baby and spoiled that baby to the point of her running away from the life Alice lived. She wasn't perfect at all. But she was wise... it didn't diminish her knowledge.
Atticus Finch needs no explanation and if you haven't read it you need to get on the ball. However just in case: He is a good father and he is really a good man all around. But he lost his wife and is no stranger to pain and loss and questioning life.
Lastly Albus Dumbledore. If you haven't read the book you have seen the movies (which aren't as good and don't give you as much info) and you know the feeling Dumbledore gives off. He is old and wise and... well... basically, he knows whats up. But he wasn't always like that. He could be responsible for the death of his sister, he was very full of himself as a younger man, and he used to be power hungry (if you didn't know any of this read the books :) hehe). Yet he knows quite a bit and seems like the perfect man. Caring and loving.  
So how do these people who had messed up lives and broken families end up being known for their wisdom and ability to love? How did they turn out so right when you, if your like me, see yourself screwing up and lashing out at every turn? And how can we end up like them in the end?
You see, I look up to these characters. I would be happy if I could age like Alice and find myself like her in the end. If I could be a parent someday like Atticus, or teach about life like Dumbledore, or love like August Boatright I would be beyond content. But how do you gain wisdom? How do you become like that even in the midst of a messed up life like Alice and August, buried in deep pain like Atticus, or covered in a thick and suffocating guilt like Dumbledore? I myself have experienced a buffet of all of these things and more. I have been able to sample the whole selection and find that the last thing I feel is wise.
Is there a secret that we're not being told? Are there magic words you have to whisper? I don't think that there is... Personally I think that pain breeds wisdom and making mistakes give you answers. I think that we all, at some point, face the truth or our lives and have to accept what's there. We can take our mistakes and move forward, always changing, or we can let ourselves be pulled into doubt and self loathing. We can accept life and the crap it throws at us, or we can just give up.
The message here, I believe, is not, "You need to be perfect to be wise, and you can never mess up.", but "There is no perfect on earth. Wisdom is the opposite of perfect. If someone is wise, you can bet that they know pain. And, unfortunately, pain is a part of life."
So, earlier I said that the word love was the message that resonated with me. It may seem simple minded and naive of me but I think that love is required for everyone and the world doesn't work without it. All of these characters are wise, but, and I think that these two characteristics go hand in hand, they love people. Alice volunteers her time and dives right into the messy, sad parts of the world so she can help. She exposes herself to the pain of others and feels it with them.
Dumbledore is like this as well. He sacrifices of himself for others and he believes in the good of people, a form of love. Atticus loves and August certainly loves beyond reason.
Maybe in order to become wise we have to love and sacrifice. It seems that we must become selfless. A difficult task indeed... But ,really, would it not be worth it?
                                               -KC-